Random Dictation

I am undergoing some really good therapy. Certain aspects of life have backed off enough that at least sometimes, the sense of threat is not as strong as it had been in prior years. What is strange for me, though, especially having been freed from the very old fashioned requirements of masculinity, and also I think biologically, compounded by the additional estrogen, is that the trauma tends to float up. What’s bizarre about that experience is that I can suffer what’s termed an emotional flashback. Which means that although I’m getting absolutely no visual or audio feedback as to what’s happening or where my soul is pulling the emotions from, I can all of a sudden just want to start sobbing. This sort of behavior at least in my generation, which was the earlier part of generation. X, was mocked as unmasculine and feminine. Well, surprise, none of us knew it at the time, but I am feminine. But that having been said, having grown up most of my life as a male, I can assure you that wanting to all of a sudden from nowhere, with no context, burst out crying is a very strange experience, regardless of whether or not it’s the kind of thing that MAGA people like to make fun of. Of. Sometimes, I think that one of the benefits, the very very few benefits come about of coming of the country. Country going through this crap, is that we will likely come out of it with the idiots very very clearly identified just by the very mantle that they’ve chosen to adopt and stick by. (continued)