Whitney Cummings and Audience Member Convo
Whitney Cummings: Who do you think did 9/11?
Soldier in Audience: Us.
WC: So why did America do it?
S: To finish Bush 1’s job.
WC: Where’d you read this?
S: I served 11 years.
WC: Where in the military were you?
S: Syria.
WC: Yeah, I want the full conspiracy. Let’s go.
S: I was at the V.A. a year and a half after an operation that we went to. “Breaking News”: the operation that we did a year and a half ago popped up on the news. I immediately went to go check and I’m like, “Is this modern?” And they said, “Yes.” And I said, “No, it’s not. I need to go talk to Mental Health.” Because I was there when that happened.
WC: Oh, so you go and say like, “We, this, what’s on the news isn’t true.”
S: Yes.
WC: “Am I going crazy?”
S: Yeah, and it broke my whole reality.
[Crowd: “whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”]
WC: Yeah, he cannot stop drinking. He, I, I think he’s telling the truth. Why did you just drag us into this nightmare? Is the Bermuda Triangle real?
S: Yes, but it’s because of a series of winds, not anything else.
A: Nerd alert.