St. Peter: “In 99999999976.33% of all branches of the universal wavefunction, you are an evil dictator who enslaves and murders hundreds of millions! ‘You’ happen to be the version whose wicked ambitions were repeatedly thwarted by bizarre coincidences over and over and over.”

Variant Hitler: “Boom! Gimme the halo and wings.”

St. Peter: “Sigh Right this way, Mr. Hitler.”

Caption: Reconciling theology and multiple worlds theory turns out to be difficult.