Limmy's Show: I Wanna Be There
6/24/25
Man: Hiya.
Ticket Agent: Hi.
Man: This is a bit of a strange question, but can you tell me how to get there?
Ticket Agent: Where is it? Where was the photo taken? Oh, I know, that’s Millport. Right, what you would do is, get the train to Largs, from there you get the ferry, the train takes roughly…
Man: No, sorry, I know how to get to Millport, but can you tell me how to get to there [points to photo]?
Ticket Agent: That is Millport.
Man: I know, but…
Ticket Agent: Sorry, you’re confusing me now. Where is it that you want to go?
Man: No, you’re right, it is Millport, you’re right, but… see, I took that photo when I was about 16. That’s me there. Some day, that. Some summer. Some laugh. Tons of pals and we’d just all, just kick about all day. The summer just seemed to go on forever, just kick about, not thinking about tomorrow or what we were doing the day after that or the day after that, just kicking about. No aggro, no fighting, nothing, just having a laugh and jumping off the pier and swimming about and all that.
And then at night, like every second night, we’d all go for a carry out. We’d all give our money, like the oldest-looking one, they’d try and get served.
“Get us a bottle of Merrydown, get us a bottle of Old English, get us Diamond White” and all that and
“Get us a quarter bottle of voddy.” “You only getting a quarter bottle of voddy?” “Oh, get us a half then,”
Aand just falling about steaming. You can’t get away with that nowadays. But it was a laugh, no aggro, no fighting, nothing like that.
We made mistakes, I know we made mistakes, but that was just part of life, part of living, wasn’t it? That’s what it was, it was living. Unlike now…
I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be here.
I want to be there. So can you tell me… how do I get there?
Ticket Agent: You can’t do that, I’m sorry.
Man: ….. Aye, just give us a return to Largs then.
Ticket Agent: £7.95.